New Garden almost caught up!

It seems like it was another lifetime when I posted last. We took off running full speed ahead to catch up with the planting season almost the minute after I lost my job and we decided to put in a bigger garden. We had no prepared place to plant and were already weeks behind in planting or starting most things. For these last 4 weeks, every moment has been something new to do and learn. I am learning how to be unemployed, I don't know how to go about all the mind numbing processes involved with not having a job. I get a free month of COBRA insurance and also unemployment insurance, handling these take up a great deal of time.

A double rainbow

We've been working at the big garden from early in the morning till it gets too hot. There is almost no shade near the garden and none in the garden. Then we go home and work on the small garden here at the house or on inside projects that need to be done (like baking bread and washing laundry). One of my projects during the day today was to put some of the smaller herbs into to clay pots and I also planted some seeds for an inside container garden. All the other herbs are in the garden, but these were smaller and leggier. Plus I thought it'd be nice to have some in the house. When the sun starts to sink, we head over to Crooked Creek for the 2nd shift and work till it gets too dark. The 2nd shift was truly paradise tonight. In the morning it's hot and the flies swarm; but in the evening, it's invigorating! Tonight the clouds reflected all possible evening colors and rolled like smoke in the swift winds.

Jumping right in

(If anyone knows how to get this blog from jamming my sentences together, please help me. No amount of spaces between the periods and next word will create space.)

I have been through the phases of a big change before and know I haven't reached the last of it yet. I'm feeling good about being laid off and I'm excited about the future; but I was also having moments of fear and betrayal this week. It's compounded with the knowledge that many people I have dearly loved for 11 years are going through the same thing. It was a relief for many of us; but it is still a little frightening for me. I feel I don't know enough yet, but also feel that I will learn what I need to know. Just since August I have learned more than I could have imagined. There was so much more I was planning on learning in the next 2 years though. Things that were going to be learned thoughtfully and intentionally are being guessed at and rushed. I suppose there is no better way to learn than by jumping right in.

update

After getting more information today, I learned that there were closer to 26 people left. That's still a lot of people though and most of my friends that worked there were included. I also heard that some of the suits were kind to the ones they had to let go. What a hard job that must be.

We had a great day working outside today and making home made cottage cheese. I want to track some of my friends down tonight, so more later.

8:28 - it's not too late

Thursday May 29th at around 10am, I received a phone call from the manager of another department that I have never spoken to on the phone before. She quickly started reading in robo-tone from the "you are being fired" script. "I am here with the Human Resource manager. We have called to inform you..." In a split second my life changed and my stomach fell on the floor. I broke out in a spontaneous nervous sweat and began to shake. I was shocked, then mad and angry, then scared. Sometime that morning men from headquarters in suits descended upon the office and informed upper management that our project was terminated and effective immediately most of the employees were being laid off.

Book discoveries

These last 7 days I have gotten so much new information that I have a hard time believing it. I also didn't feel like writing as much and wanted to just think and work. Today I felt very run down and didn't have the energy to start the evening work around the house. I couldn't perk up and didn't have the mental energy to write. I sat on the couch and turned the TV on because I didn't have energy to read either. After a little of the "Mega-Disasters" special tonight on droughts I felt oh so much better. I thought instead of watching TV, I'd go watch "outside". It's a little chilly tonight so I grabbed my hoody and Lolli and I went outside.

A Quiet Day of Memories

May 20th, 1996 my brother Jacob died and our lives changed forever. Today I wish I were there to give hugs to Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Grandfather, and my brothers. I miss you Bubba.